A Taste of the Forbidden Fruit
by crystalbluefox
Summary: Zoro is a strong man on every levels.. or in most levels. As a blond chef walks into his life, Zoro horrified realises a horrible truth about himself, a feeling that he can't stop from blooming into life. There is only one way to remove such a disgusting 'thing' as he, from a well respected crew as the Straw Hats, and he has to show them 'why' so they'll all understand! Warning N18
1. Disturbing Feelings

**AN: Story earlier known as 'Violated Dreams'. **

**Story was removed and deleted, together with all of your lovely readers reviews to it by the administrators of , because the Name of the story AND the Summary weren't G-rated writing. I had no idea of this. Honestly I didn't give it a single thought about it, that it was a big 'no-no' to write curses in the summary. It was removed without a single warning and I was, to boot it all with, not allowed to post any stories many days after 'Violated Dreams' were deleted. Therefore it only returns back up now, with another summary, under another name AND been HEAVILY re-written. So, old story, about a year old, refreshed and hopefully allowed to stay on my page this time for everyone to read and review.**

A big thanks to Tania-chwan (KittyBlue), for beta-reading this chapter. I don't know what I would have done without her help.

**Rating: **N18!

**Warning: **Rape, Violence, Curses and Blood.

A Bite of the

Forbidden Fruit

-A One Piece fan fiction

By

Crystal Blue Fox

**1. Chapter **

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**Disturbing Feelings**

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_**Case A –Roronoa Zoro**_

_The screams tore through the night like a haunting ghost, ending with a gurgling sound back in the man's throat, as the large hammer crashed down onto his chest, breaking the remaining ribs there were left. The other man, not older than twenty or so, sat pressed up against a tree and stared horrified at the whole scenario. He was crying, looking like a child as he sat there; one leg pressed up against the chest, while the other lay stretched out before him, bloodied, broken. It was for safe measure, they had said, so that the __**faggot**__ wouldn't be able to run off, they had said. He____would never be able to use that leg again, __**if**__ they ever would let him go... __**alive**__! _

_The priest and the blacksmith both looked down at the broken man whose face were no longer to identify. It wasn't even possible to see that the person ever __**had **__been a man before._

"_Remember this, Zoro," the priest said, slowly turning my way while the tall muscled blacksmith went to the other man. I was scarred to even move, especially when those blue orbs turned my way, begged me, prayed me to say something, to stop them. I tried to open my mouth, but my throat was as dry as a desert. I couldn't speak, only stand there, pressed up against another tree and stare. I didn't even cry._

_The priest kneeled down before me with that smile of his, like he had to reassure me that everything was okay. That nothing was wrong. His large hand lay carefully onto my small shoulder._

"_Please, don't. I. I. Please. Zoro. Zoro?" The man cried, __**I **__wanted to cry, but at least ended up with a little sniffle. I tried to work my mouth, but nothing came out. Yoske had always been a good man, a farmer who worked hard daily to help his father in the fields. He always played with me whenever I came over, even though I said it was childish. "But you __**are **__a child, after all," he had said laughing "be proud of it, kid. Enjoy your short time while you have it, okay?" I had always helped him in the fields. He reminded me a lot about sensei, and sensei never minded me coming there. But none had known. Not even me. Not really. I thought that it was weird, but okay._

_But apparently it wasn't okay._

"_If a man falls for another man, feels that tingling feeling in here," The priest's large finger pressed onto my chest, right above my heart. I was scared, really scared, not only because of what was happening, but also because of that calming way the priest was speaking like. Yoske screamed so loud as the large hammer smashed down onto his other knee, breaking the leg firmly, that I thought his throat soon would bleed "then he's no longer a man. He'll be a sinner, no longer a son of God. A faggot! And a faggot is better off dead, before he destroys another man's soul. Like Yoske here." Yoske cried out loud in answer and tried to crawl away. "Yoske destroyed this man's life. He took a bite of the forbidden fruit, so to say, and shared it with this man." The priest stretched his arm out to show me that man, or, what was left of him. I wanted to throw up. "Now now, Zoro. You're a man yourself. A young man. A son of God. Don't feel sorry for sinners like these. They only get what they deserve. No more, no less."_

"…_I…"_

"_I want you to watch, Zoro, watch and remember. Remember what it is God wanted you to see." The blacksmith placed himself in front of the crawling man, Yoske was crying. I tried to move, as the large man lifted his hammer up in the air, but the priest held me steady in place. "Watch and learn, young Zoro."_

"_No! Noo!" I called, finally finding my voice, pushing against the priest's hold there had to struggle to calmly keep me in place. I could finally feel the wetness in my eyes. Yoske looked forlorn at me as the blacksmith lifted his large hammer up in the air, looming dangerously above the still crawling and crying man, before the large man cursed "bloody faggot" and spat at him, before letting the heavy metal fall down hard._

"_NOOOO!"_

I woke up with a start. My heart was beating painfully behind the ribcage, threatening to explode at any moment, or so it felt like. My hands where shaking, my freaking whole body was trembling from the memories of that same old dream. A horrible memory from the past. Sitting up on the coach I threaded my fingers through my damp short hair, clutching it in my shaking hands.

The memories from back then were all too clearly… and they were starting to come and haunt me… ever since I _found out_ about myself. A curse, a warning to not go _that way_. But… I just couldn't help it, _can't _help it.

I hadn't even realised that I had been crying before I unconsciously runs my hands over my face.

Thank fuck that I had fallen asleep up here without anyone seeing me like this, without anyone to see this pathetic side of me.

Without _you _having to get disgusted at seeing this pathetic weak side of me.

Just then the silent night air gets disturbed by a sound, a voice. It's a voice not to go wrong by. Was it already that time? Your humming tunes as you walk the deck to stand at the railing, gets carried up to the crows nest, even up in this high. I don't have to look to know that you're lighting yourself one of those stinking cigarettes, leaning yourself on the railing, one foot resting behind the other, while you're watching the lazy sun peeking up behind the horizon, before you'll toss the butt of the cigarette over board and head up into your sanctuary of a kitchen.

It's your ritual, and it's mine to just watch you. Your hair always looks so beautiful when the sun are rising, like the beams of the sun sets your hair in golden fire. You're glowing like a treasure that I am never allowed to touch.

And yet I can't stop imagining myself each and every time how it would be like to slip up behind you, lay my arms around you and pull you against my body for then to watch this little time of peace together with you, before the ruckus of the day will begin. Maybe even kiss you secretly. I wonder how your skin will taste like? Your lips? How would your body against mine feel like? How would you like me to pleasure you the best ways?

Groaning at the way the thoughts are wandering to I learn my head down unto my knees, folding my hands above my head to press it further down.

Its forbidden thoughts, thoughts that I never knew I ever would live to have… but I was cursed or blessed with these the day I first laid my eyes at you, truly laid them at you, now I can only watch you through one.

It stings inside of my chest, it burns as I takes one shuddering breath of air. It's such a long time that I have watched you from the distance, thought that it only was a one-time-curiosity of lust and even tried to fuck around in some of the harbours that we have passed by on our voyage, but with no avail. Instead, each time I laid my hand on a woman, even once or twice with a sailor man to see if it could delete those feelings, I felt disgusted at myself and felt like I was cheating at you. Those I have laid can even be counted on two hands… I didn't ever touch another person after that sailor in the backstreet, who even wanted to do me after I had done him up against the wall. Fucker even had managed to drug me and was well into my pants, his filthy hands on my dick, roaming around on my body, and I even dared to imagine that it was you. Realisation came hard down as I felt him pressing against my ass, trying to enter. I cut off his libido and walked away, ignoring the horrible screams haunting me from behind. I can still hear those hoarse screams even today whenever I dwell on those thoughts.

It had been a maniac desperate moment.

You're changing your tune and even starts to sing when your feet brings you up the stairs. It's hard not to look; it's getting harder to keep myself in control. To keep my own libido in control.

I only want you and you alone, no others can ever change that…sadly enough.

Sighing I press my hands into my eyes, just to execute the growing feeling below. I want you, badly, and today won't be any easier to resist the urge to touch you. Beside, it's already been four years, four years since you first time sat your feet on our ship, four years since you jinxed me with your beauty, with your calm endearing personality after one drunken night where you where you. I can barely fight you now without wanting to press you up against a wall and kiss you, touch you, fuck you into oblivion.

Four years since I was cursed by the thing that they call 'love'.

"Fuck…!" I'm getting weaker.

~.-.-.-.-.-.-.~

I watched you from the shadows as you walked down the stairs with a tray in your hands, balancing the high-glasses filled with some kind of liquor that you had created by yourself. You ignore me several times until there's only two glasses left and you're forced to give me one as well. You search around for me, finding me sitting in the shadows of Nami's orange-trees and walk the way up. You throws me a smile there startles me fully out of it. You've turned softer to me, or maybe it's the alcohol in your drinks –how many did you have already? You normally don't smile like that or laughs like that near me, not when we're alone, not when you can go down have fun with the others. You hate me, you make sure to let me know that fact every breathing moment that we're together, or at least dislikes me a lot. Then why make all that effort to come all the way up here? If you dislike me so much, why do you then sit down beside me and tells happily about your day and whatever fall into your mind, even when your own glass gets empty? Surely you must be drunk, else you wouldn't dare to call me 'cute' when making a face of a comment you throw my way. I am _not _cute, far from. Really.

Standing up, you brush your pants and walks away; your golden hair shining in the rays of the sun, making the sun itself so jealous of you. The wind blows in your hair and once again I caught a glimpse of the embarrass truth behind you bangs. But somehow those asymmetric eyebrows are endearing. You'd kill me if I'd ever told you so in a sober mind, wouldn't you, you crazy sexy cook?

But I _have _teased you with them, a night when we were alone and drunk. You moved your bangs aside to show me your face, and I couldn't stop myself from laughing. Hadn't you been so drunk you might had filleted me alive and thrown me out to the hungry fishes in the seas. Instead you just kicked me in the shin and I experienced how hard a frying pan actually could hurt. You even laughed hard at it, soon after we fell back into a comfortable conversation. It was all before Rivers Mountain… it was that night when I found out I liked this peaceful, calm and open side of you; and I wanted to see more of it, hear more of it… that was the night when I felt my own heart beat an extra time, my body warm and my hand itching to touch you.

It was the day when God stop liking me, if he ever had done, and cursed me with these constant growing feelings.

I wanted to hold you in my arms. I wanted to give you the love that no other person would ever manage to give you. I want to protect you, even if I know that you can perfectly well protect yourself, but I want you to know that I will always be there for you. You 're making me mad. I just can't stop thinking about you.

I watch as you walk away, flirting with the two women onboard, yell at Luffy, chat with Chopper, play poker with Usopp and Franky, while Brook sits by playing his violin. Luffy comes up and joins in and he calls for me to come as well. But I don't want to. I would rather sit here and watch you… like I've always done. Your visible blue eye looks my way and for a brief moment, I could swear there was a hint of worry in that gaze, before it turned all cold and hateful. It's freaking frustrating with your constant change of mood. Why can't others know that you don't mind talking with me, or are you getting sober already? I close my eye as you turn away, but that doesn't mean I won't still keep an eye on you.

I can't help it!

I can't help this feeling and its killing me slowly, breaking and burning my heart to ashes.

Why should I fall in love with you? With a man as beautiful as you?

A _man_?!

It's forbidden, it's wrong, so horrible wrong, and it's tearing me apart. So many years, and those feelings just keeps on getting stronger. Dangerously stronger.

I observe you play, as you lose and win, and then lose again, when Nami joins in. I can't take the way you are acting towards her, how you make a fool out of yourself.

She doesn't care and I can't take watching you suffer like this much longer. Your hidden tears are a tear too much. She has already claimed her love to our captain. Is that why you have started to drink so much, because you think that no one then ever will love you? I love you, more than any ever can. And I want to show you, I want to tell you that you're not un-loved, even if it will cost me… everything. One night. I wish to have you in my arms, to kiss you sweetly, to make love to you, fuck you, just for one night I want to feel that you love me, for one night I wish you to feel how much I love you, even… even as it will end up as a rape. Shit, what am I saying? But I can't take this anymore. To hell with the rest. I can't stand this any longer, it's eating me up, _you're _eating me up.

"_If a man falls for another man, feels that tingling feeling in here," _the words of that priest from back then haunts me again and reminds me of the consequences. I can even still see the whole scene again. I was scared, so freaking scared out of my mind as he showed me, let me see what would happen to people like me _"then he's no longer a man. He'll be a sinner, no longer a son of God. A faggot! And a faggot is better off dead, before he destroys another man's soul. Like Yoske here." _Yoske had cried his eyes out, tried to crawl away from his death._ "Yoske destroyed this man's life. He took a bite of the forbidden fruit, so to say, and shared it with this man." _

"_Now now, Zoro. You're a man yourself. A young man. A son of God. Don't feel sorry for sinners like these. They only get what they deserve. No more, no less."_

Pressing my eyes close I can start tasting the blood in my mouth, as my teeth bites through the flesh of my lips.

Better off dead. No man. I am no longer a man.

"_A sinner."_

"…_a faggot are better off dead, before he destroys another man's soul." _

I can't… I can't stop this any longer. I can't surprises these feelings anymore.

"_I want you to watch, Zoro, watch and remember. Remember what it is God wanted you to see." The blacksmith placed himself in front of the crawling man. Yoske was crying. I tried to move, as the large man lifted his hammer up in the air, but the priest held me steady in place. "Watch and learn, young Zoro."_

I'm better off dead.

Then suddenly I lost myself into that darkness. Flinging my eyes open, I know what to now. you'll hate me forever, but you'll then know why.

I want to set you free!

~.-.-.-.-.-.-.~

Waiting like a predator, I executed this madness of a plan, early in the morning. It was easy to get them up here at first this early in the morning, even before you would come to start on breakfast. It was way too easy to… _put them to sleep_. Of course it had to take a longer time for Luffy and Robin to get taken care off, but in the end they were taken care off too. Those look of betrayal and hatreds will forever haunt my mind, together with what I'm about to do with you.

You were now all alone in this early morning, together with this godforsaken predator. This disgusting _faggot. _I can hear your sleepy feet drag you up along the stairs. You have heard nothing above the music that Brook is playing on his violin up in the crows nest. Luffy asked him to play a joyous tune, before he wanted to settle things with me. Apparently he didn't want you or Brook to hear this either. My heart is thumbing even harder as you make your way to the door, opens it to get in and make breakfast, as you usually do… but today there wont be any breakfast. Today is where I will set you free.

Your visible eye widens as you look at me terrified, as you step inside the door and looks around. It makes my heart shatter for a moment, but only for a moment. You can't take all the blood? You can't take the silent bodies that lay around me? You don't understand why my sword are pulled and why I have so much blood on me too? But, don't you understand, that I only did this, to free you? So you and I can finally be together just for once?

"What the hell have you done?!" you say in disbelief, hoping that all of this is just some stupid nightmare, even though we both know it's pretty real. "What the _fucking _hell have you done, Zoro?!" You're taking a step forward, but then steps back as I come closer to you. You're shaking so much, but is it of rage or fear? I don't know, but I have to test you. You fall over Nami's body, your face paling and you finally scream and jump up to attack me in rage. We fight but it's a sloppy fight. I corner you up and grab your hands, the blade of my sword pressed against your throat. "If you have the gut to do it to the others," you spits at me, hatred burning like a blue fire in your eyes, I almost can sense that deadly leg of yours looming behind me "Then _do it_!"and that leg came, heel slamming down onto my shoulder. Fuck, you've gotten stronger through all these years. Something cracks in shoulder, but I grab your leg as it comes back down for a second time, one hand still holding your two smaller hands at bay, as I press that long leg of yours against your slender body. You're about to yell at me again, you're trying to push yourself away, trying to get free to no avail.

Then you freeze as I runs my hand down your slender but strong leg down to your tights, as I lean in to lick a tear away from the corner of your beautiful eye. You struggle in my hold, trying to kick me again, but I'm too close to you to do anything. Instead I kick your other foot away from underneath you, we fall to the ground and lands between the blood-spattered bodies of our nakama.

You scream in agony at them and at me, as I bind your hands together with my bloody bandana and up to Wado Ichimondi –she had to see what I have become like, she had to see me breaking down while I break you down as well. She will forever stand there where she's plunged into the floorboards, keeping you at place. I slid your tie off your slender neck as well and have to silence you. Can't have Brook to hear anything, now can we? Can't have him to come and ruin things, not when we're this far into this plan, not when I don't have that much time left. I pauses as the music from the violin pauses, as Brook undeniable are trying to listen for the source of that scream of yours, waiting to hear it again. Then the music starts again and I look back down at you.

You scream bloody murder at me through the clothes in your mouth, even though none of them are dead, just intoxicated by one of Chopper's medicine. Luffy was furious when I told them, about me, about you, about my disgusting feelings towards you. He even dared to call me a coward, that rubber-bastard. The blood? I have to chuckle. You don't even know what happened in here before you came, so don't ask. You think you do, but you don't. You don't have to know, not yet though.

I lean down whispering into your ear and once again you freeze. "I love you, Sanji, more than anything in this world. That's why I have to do it, so that you know it for sure. Before I will be all gone from you." As you turn your neck to look disbelievingly at me, I release your tie from your mouth, to catch your lips with my own and silence the screams and curses that would otherwise be shouted at me. "I want you," I whisper to you and slides my fingers inside of your pants, slowly pulling them off, "I want you so badly that it's making me crazy! I want you so much, Sanji" You cry and I don't blame you. You kick out trying to hit me and call me different things. You try to pull away, but without any luck. I want you and I won't let you go! Not this time, not anymore. This time, this moment, you are mine.

You keep struggling until realisation hits you hard; your nakama are dead, you think, and I want to make love with you in their blood… you think. I can feel that you're dying slowly; you're getting weak in my hold, slowly giving up. There's no hope, you think, though there are lots of hope when I first are gone, when I first have left you guys, deleted this disgusting animal of a faggot you're your crew. You whimper and lean your head down into the blood. I dive back down again, kissing you even deeper, tasting your mouth where a cut have make your lips bleed a little. Oh god, how this would have been wonderful if just you had been willing, if just this hadn't been a crime, if this hadn't been a forbidden love. I want this so much to last forever… but I can't, it's impossible. It's forbidden.

Faggots are not allowed in this world. _I _am not allowed in this world, and far from in this crew.

"Why?" you whisper, again and again, each time the same question sounds harder to ask. I remove your shirt a little and kiss your shoulder, you turn your face away in disgust, but I don't care, I just want you, right here and right now… later, would be too late!

"Because I love you," I tell you honestly as I kiss your neck, "Because I want to set you free," You sniffle, and I like the sound, every sound you make; in fear, in pain, while singing, in sadness, just simply speaking… I love your voice. I would like to hear it like this too, in passion.

I free you from your pants; you're too weak to move by now, even though you still try. Your sorrows have taken over and you're still asking the same question, again and again. And again I keep answering the same thing.

"What is freedom, if you can't share it with anyone?" You suddenly ask me. I just kiss you in answer, because I don't know what to answer. You'll be free, isn't that enough? You'll be free to live!

I pull my own pants down to free my libido -oh god how your skin feels soft. Oh Jesus how I wanted this to happen in a bed, to be able to feel your naked skin against my own. Our dicks are touching each other, you jump at the touch, too slowly realising what I am about to do to you. I love this feeling; the feeling of you naked, trembling underneath me... the feeling of your cold sweated skin against my hands, the feeling of our dick caressing each other, my hard one trying to live yours up. I turn you to face me, to look into your tear strained eyes. I push your hair aside to see both of the seas over floating. I lick your goatee, your chin, your little beard above your mouth, before catch your lips and kiss you hard, licks you while I tell you oh so many things. Your legs feels weak and tired, almost defeated as I lift them up to an impossible angle than only you can master. Damn fuck you're so sexy, even when you don't want to be, even when you're not trying to be it.

You're dying, I can feel it. You're dying slowly away from me and I have to heal it somehow.

You scream into my mouth as I enter you, you don't need any preparations; all you need is to feel me, feel my love, feel my passion and my need to have you. I have to silence you again with your black tie, because you're too loud. But I love the sounds you let escape, I love to listen to your screams and moans into the clothes. I move my hand to your sides so I can move faster, the blood on the floor gets smeared out in my palms and gives this love-scene a sickly colour.

I love you so much, but there were no other way to show it to you, other than this. I lean down and kiss you, shivers runs through my body as I hear your moans, not in pain, not in agony, put in lust even you are somehow enjoying this, or at least your body does. I want to remove the bandana from your mouth to hear it clearer, but if I do, they will wake up, Brook will hear and come to ruin it, and then there would be no more time left. Streams of tears come down your eyes and I lean closer to lick them away.

"Zhoro, noh~!" you cry into the piece of clothing, repeating the words over and over again. I slam harder and faster into you, the sounds slowly turning more distressing and weak. You bend your back as you're getting close, releasing a moan that my mind lustfully drinks. I can't wait to hear your beautiful voice as you orgasm. I can't wait… to leave you in passion.

I bite my lips, I almost can't see you. I curse as I'm slowly getting cold, even though we're in the middle of heated sex. The pain in my heart slowly overwhelms me, I cry and you realise it, as a drop of tear lands on your face. I can't breathe. It hurts… it hurts so much! You look shocked, I don't want you to have that look, I don't want you to feel sorry, I don't want those eyes to look that pity at me. My hand grabs your length and you moan out loud, forgetting my pain, and once again I drink every drop of your passionate sounds. I remove your tie and swallow your beautiful orgasm with my lips over yours, as you come. You whimper as I move a couple of times more inside of you. You cry as realisation gets thrown down on you again.

But Sanji, it would never had been a rape, if you had just wanted this, if you had just let me have you … right?

It would never have been forbidden love, a disgusting love, if just one of us had been of a different gender.

There would never have been any blood to splatter these floorboards… if I had been man enough to just ask you, to take your disgust, your hateful rejection. But I am not allowed to be here, not people like me. I have seen what they do to people like me.

It's getting harder to breathe. I feel so tired… I want to sleep.

Everything hurts.

Then I finally wakes up, really wakes up again.

I can't believe what I have done. I can't believe that I really have sunk this low. Fuck! I can't believe that I let my lust and feelings go this far. You should never know, none should ever have known about this, but now it's all too late.

Even Kuina must be disgusted at what I have done, and then using her sword for this. I have failed, as a human, as a man. I'm nothing but a bloody filthy _faggot._

Stupid shitty fuck-head I AM!

Your teary eyes make me regret, your pale face make me want to touch you and say how sorry I am…sorry for all I have done. To you. To them.

Sorry… so fucking sorry… but I don't need words, you can read it all in my eye, but of course, you can't forgive me, now can you? I lean down to kiss you, and you let me… even when I let your hands free, you let me. You're even kissing me back, surprising me. No, that wasn't supposed to happen, those loving eyes weren't supposed to look like that at me. You should _hate _me. Not… not _this_!

Then that light disappears and you're nothing but a lifeless doll in my hands as I touch you, kiss you and tasting you all over again. Only your panting are telling me that you're still alive… at least more alive than I am.

I cough and blood lands in my hands, I gasp but my lungs are too tired to breathe properly. I feel so dizzy, I want to see your beautiful face, but it fades away, I can't see you. You let out a growl as I land heavy on your chest and you push me away, only to stare at me in shock. I'm sorry… I'm sorry to paint your beautiful milky chest, in my own disgusting blood.

"Zoro…?" I hear your trembling voice ask. I move a hand up to touch your face; so soft and so wet.

"I love you…Sanji," I tell you as I dry a tear away from your face, only to replace it with my own disgusting blood. "I love you so much… it hurts," Don't shake your head, let me explain. Don't look at me like that… it hurt so much in my heart.

"Why?" you cry and I can only smile. Why? Because you're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my life, because you were the one I could count on in fights, when we stood back to back when facing the enemies.

"Because… you are, who you are," No? Why do you shake your head like that?

"Not what I meant, shit-head!" you sneer at me, "Why…why the _fuck_ have you done this to yourself?" My thumb dries away the new tear from your eye. "I don't want to be alone! Why did you leave me all alone? _Why_ did you kill everyone else, other than me? _Why_, damn fucking hell_, WHY_?!" I don't have to answer as you already have heard Luffy's yawn, as you already have seen your angel, as you call her, move and sit up. You widen your eyes and looks at me in surprise.

"I just," I feel so tired, "wanted to," so tired… "…set you free… from me…" My hand lands heavily on the floor. I hear Nami scream in horror and Luffy roar in anger and fear. And you? If I just could tell… if I could just see your face one last time… but now you're free… free from me, free from my sickly presence.

I gasp as my blood seeps out from the wound I hid under my black shirt. Why do you scream so much? Why do you all cry? You're not happy? Happy to be free of a faggot like me? Free of a weakling like me? You should smile, you should cheer, damn it Sanji! I just raped you! Why, why don't you kick me now, instead of connecting your lips to my own? I can't stop crying, I can't stop wanting, I can't stop screaming in my mind, what a fool I have been.

Sorry, Luffy, but you wouldn't be able to stop me…

I'm sorry Sanji, my angel, for ever having thoughts like these towards you, you're the ladies man, who only love women and not disgusting pigs like me.

"I… love you," I whisper and breathe out one last time before everything fades away. I can hear your desperate scream as darkness takes me in.

"Zoro! God damn it, Moss-head!" Don't cry, smile… smile my angel… you're free! Free of me!

Smile… please, smile and don't cry.

…smile…

~.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.~

_**To be continued**_

~.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.~


	2. Give a Chance

A Bite of the

Forbidden Fruit

-A One Piece fan fiction

By

Crystal Blue Fox

**2. Chapter **

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**Give a Chance**

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_**Case B –Black Leg Sanji**_

It's getting colder as I stand here, looking down into the dark grave, where worms and bugs are waiting to eat another dead body. Smokes encircle me before disappearing up into the darkening skies. I inhale the toxic, keeps it in my lungs a bit longer than usual, and then blows it out again. A coffin is slowly being lowered down into the mother earth, penetrating into the pitch black hole with ropes being pulled up. Dirt and earth are being tossed on top of that coffin… it could have been _yours_! Why am I standing and watching another person's funeral? Why do I keep standing here, even though all the relatives of the dead person whom I don't even know a shit about have left already? This man, who lies here, in this dirt, did what you almost did; he killed himself because he was in love with his brother's wife. From what I heard of, they had known each other since childhood. It was during the last few years, when the woman he loved and the man he cared so much about created a family that he fell in love in her. He didn't want to break their marriage, their family, what they had created together, and that's why... he killed himself, before doing anything else he knew he would regret later on.

He said so, in his last letter.

Was this what you meant to do to me, eh, Moss-head? Fucking asshole! Going to leave me all alone... weren't you?

You were the person that I looked up to in secret. I always thought you were strong when we fought in battles, always admired you… no... not only in battles, you were strong for being who you are and I thought your soul was strong as well… what happened? What did I do to weaken you this much? What things have happened to you, since you, of all people, acted on such a cruel way?

Why do people do things like this?

I don't get it…!

No matter how I think about it, I still don't get it.

I look upon the millions of stars there's hanging above me, like white flakes of snow there just wont fall down to touch the ground I'm standing on. The white moon are larger tonight than yesterday, shines brighter than any other day I remember of, ghostly and coldly. It makes me shiver just by thinking about where I am at this given moment. Its freezing cold, but hell, I don't care, it's not what makes me freeze. The ground is cold, but the gravestone I lean against is much colder, makes me wanna pull away. But instead I sit still against it, I just want to sit here with that dead guy laying down there, practically right beside me, some feet underneath me. Even though I don't know this man, it's hard not to feel sorry for him. He reminds me too much about you. I know that sometimes it's just best to run away from things… but sometimes it's not… definitely not at a time like this, when it's about feelings. There's a briskly wind almost tumbling me to the ground, the jacket I wear blows up, wanting to fly away with it. Dark clouds are rolling over the sky like a dangerous Armageddon threatening to release its artillery of heavy rain, the stars above me looks weaker -just as weak as my fucked up mind- and then disappears behind the great greyness. A storm is on its way. Nami-swan had said something like that earlier as well, had warned us to stay put, stay inside. She even warned us to maybe run for the island, to a safety on one of the towns many hotels.

The storm is building up, but I can't find the will to move, to even think so far to actually move out of the way.

I can't put a shit together without surely getting crazy. Why the hell did you do it? Why the fucking _hell_ did you do this shit, you damn son of a bitch marimo? Was it really _that_ hard to just come and tell me? Sure, I would kick your head into your own sorry ass at you first attempt to kiss me, and sure I would call you stuff and almost kill you… if you'd managed to touch me with those lips. But I think that I would have forgiven you in the end, after I had calmed down from freaking out.

I let my fingers runs through my hair that the wind are messing up, as I crush the butt of my last cigarette into the dirt -guess the dead man wouldn't care, now would he? I grab my knees and leans my head down onto them. I can't stop rocking back and forth, again and again as the memory of that day keeps playing in my mind. All that blood… all that damn blood that I thought was theirs… and then it had been yours. _Your_ god fucking _blood_!

The trees are starting to dance in the howling wind, I can no longer feel my back there's touching the icy cold stone, but, hell, I don't care, don't care a shit about it. Don't care a bloody shit about the increasing darkness and blowing winds around me.

It's even a wonder that I found my way back to the Thousand Sunny. Heh, I don't even remember how I got back to the damn ship, don't even remember if I got anything to eat today either, but I remember _one _thing; that _you_ didn't eat anything at all, again. Each time I came in to you with something, you just shook your head, denied eating anything at all, and instead turned your face away from me, not even wanting to speak a simple word with me, not even an unsatisfied grumble. You have any idea of how much that hurts? It feels like a sword, your sword, is being stabbed right into my heart and then shreds it apart, for each time. I wonder if there's anything left of it, is that perhaps why I feel so hollow by now? Every time, I just place the plate down by your table, and leaves. Though I really want to stay back to see if you could do anything other than just sitting there or lay there like a dead, but the atmosphere always were too suffocating; the smell of your blood and the scent of your hatred there's no doubt turned towards me.

It was a relief when you started breathing again, when Chopper managed to bring you back to life, barely. It hurt though that when you opened your eyes, they were hollow, full with such pain, shame and disappointment as you looked at me… since then you always looked away when I came in with your food, or turned your back to me, acting like you were asleep. We both know you weren't.

How many days has it been by now?

I stare at the closed door where I know that you're hiding… where I know you're dying. Chopper healed your wounds… but he couldn't heal the one there's killing you slowly. My hand is shaking as it slowly moves up to grab the door handle, and freezes in midair, like the handle would bite me if I touched it. Swallowing the growing pool of saliva in my mouth, I almost tumbled again as the wind hit the side of the ship hard. Chopper curses at the other side of the door as some stuff apparently were thrown around and broke as they hit the floor. As I finally man myself enough up to open that damn door, he was on his knees, picking up some shattered glasses with his hooves, before running for the broomstick to get the rest of it up and away. He hasn't even heard me, not before the winds grabs the door and throws it open, making him jump up and turn my way at the loud sound. He has been crying, again, his shining red eyes tells about it. Chopper's just standing there, like frozen to the ground. As I step inside and closes the door with difficulty, I can't stop from cringing my nose at the strong smell of medicine and blood. My heart makes a fast beat. Chopper just stands there and stares up at me, before he rubs his arms over his eyes as more tears starts to spill again.

"Chopper?" I ask warily. He looks down on the floorboards, then over at you, tears are still pricking in the corner of his eyes, still threatening to let more fall. I don't like the way he sighs, I don't like the tears that now can't be hold back any longer and falls from his eyes. He turns around and walks up to me.

"There's nothing I can do," he whispers, his small lips are trembling, he bites in them to prevent himself from crying out loud. It breaks my heart to see him like this. "He won't eat, he won't drink and he only takes the medicine I'm forcing into his blood. I'm sorry, Sanji," he finally lets out a loud cry and continues in doing so, crying and sniffling, brown eyes looking straight into mine as his legs turns wobbly. It hurts him not being able to heal you, because you don't _want _to be healed.

"It's okay," I tell him, my voice betraying me by sounding so sincerely, but still I kneel down to pull him into my arms. He cries out loud, in desperation, in fear, in angst and in sorrow. "S'okay, Chopper, you've done all you can," I hush at him quietly while brushing his furry head slowly, soothing him, comforting him, while I don't even dare to look at your sleeping form. "He'll be all good again," I whisper into his ear, but he only shakes his head and I repeat it, more confident than the last time.

"You think so?" He mumbles into my tearstained shirt and I nod, giving him a reassuring smile as he looks up.

"Hell, with a doctor like you on board, we'll be in safe hands from being taken by death!" He squeals and hits me, telling me to shut the fuck up, yet his face doesn't match his harsh words. Restraining from giving a smile back is quite impossible for him. I dry his tears away and pat his hat before looking down to know that he's smiling at me, whole heartedly, though his eyes tells that he's still crying inside.

The chair moves noisily on the floor as I move it, placing it right beside your bed, but you still don't want to face me. Chopper is gone now to get some sleep, I promised him to take the watch over you. You're breathing slowly, so you might be sleeping for real this time. I can't do anything other than sit and stare at your back. Your breathing is racked sometimes. I don't know for how long I've been sitting here and just staring at your stupid back, maybe an hour… maybe two… maybe an eternity… or so it feels like. Not even in your sleep do you turn around, and I'm sick and tired of keep staring at that fucking back of yours.

Before I knew, my hand was on your shoulder. Before I knew, I was standing over you trying to get a glimpse of your face. My hand pulls you and rolls you onto your back. A fist of ice grasps my heart and freezes it, as I see your hollow chin, sweat beaten temple and all too white skin. It twists and hurts in my heart. '_Oh my God!_' I thought franticly, can't stop repeating the word inside of my head, again and again and again. With shaking hands, tempted to see more, the hand moves down to pull the sheet away, moving it down your hips, moving it down your knees, until you're fully exposed to my horrified gaze.

I forget to breathe, I forget to think as my hand hovers and slightly spreads ghostly touches over your bandaged body. You're shivering as I touch your pale skin lightly, I don't know _why _I'm doing it, but I can't stop looking at you in fascination, horror and in pain. All those old scars running across your body, they're tempting me too much, I want to touch, just a little. And then there's the one hiding underneath your bandages, hiding from my view. I want to see it! I want to see how bad it is, but I can't, and again, I don't want to. But still my hand can't stop ghosting over it.

Suddenly, I freeze as I notice your eyes are looking at me. Your hand weakly grabs my wrist. My heart stops beating for a moment. Trembling, turning slowly, heart beating like hell now inside of my chest, I look down on your face and bite my lips at the empty stare I see in your eyes. No emotions, no feelings, nothing at all in them! And somehow it both scares me… and pisses me off.

You stare at me for a long time and I stare back at you as well. Then you drop your gaze and looks away, your hand sliding slowly away from my wrist.

'_Enough of this shit!_'

I grab your wrist hard and glares at you. "Stop fucking around like that, moss-head," I sneer, but you refuse to look at me "this isn't _you_, damn it! Look at me," silence meets me and I tighten my grip, "Look. At. Me! Damn it, I said; LOOK AT ME!" I grab your chin and force your head to look my way. At the sight of tears rolling down your cheeks then slightly diagonally near your ears, sliding down to the tips of my fingers, I let go and moves away. '_What the hell?_' You look at me, your one eye full with tears, but you don't say anything. And just as you're turning away from me, without thinking, I grab your arm and throw you to the floor. You sit up slowly on your knees and bows your head, refusing to look at me again, like a serpent waiting to be given punishment by his master. My anger is boiling at this moment. It's _pathetic_! It's so damn _pathetic _and _wrong _to see you like this. The hell, if _that's _whatyou want… it's my pleasure to give it to you! You're pissing me off too fucking much now!

The next thing I know, my foot is connected to you face, sending you lying flat on the ground and then you fucking just lay there, waiting for the next blow. Fucking shit-head! I grit my teeth, clench my fists and kicks you so hard that you're practically flying out through the door and into my kitchen… there, where you started all these fucked up things!

"Stand up," I voice out with a calm tone yet anyone who knows what's happening would know that I'm actually seething right now, but you take no heed towards it, only sits back up in that fucking position. "Stand. Up!" this time I hit you under your jaw and hears a satisfying _crack_, but damn hell, you're still not moving, other than to sit on your damn knees again. You just keeps on pissing me off! You are pissing me off so damn much, because of the bloody way you're acting. It's not like you! IT'S JUST NOT YOU!

"I SAID STAND UP, MARIMO!" I roar and grab your throat, since you didn't have any shirt on and force you to stand up. My fingers tightens around your throat, wanting to squeeze around it, until you stop breathing. I hate you so much, right now. Then, as you begin gasping for air, I remember what I wanted to do to begin with and let you go, only to find you sliding back down on the floor, coughing and gasping, gripping your throat to sooth it a little. I pull a smirk. At least there are _some_ movements you can still do, other than sitting and bowing your head, but that still doesn't stop me from kicking you senseless and only when you lay flat on the floor, not moving, only gasping for air, I stop.

And then, I don't know what's happening with me.

I grab your short hair and force you to stand up again, but you don't complain and just follows my 'orders' as I throw you into the nearest wall. I move forward, raising a hand to slap you across your face, but then your hand grabs mine, stopping me from what I'm doing. I move my other hand, but you grab that one to.

I don't get it. I just don't get it.

"LET GO OF ME, DAMN IT!" I scream, and fights back, trying to free myself but with no use. I keeps on screaming and yelling at you as tears slowly fills my eyes and finally runs down my face. It feels like that every drop of tear drains my body from all kind of energy, especially when it's companioned by the touch of your hands on mine. At last my tense hand gets released from your firm grasp once I stop retaliating. Slowly you frightfully moves your hand up to touch my chin and catches a tear. I shiver at the touch of your rough skin on mine.

I don't get it… why am I crying? I glare at you and your hand stops touching me. Why… why do I suddenly like your hand touching me? Why do I feel so guilty, when those eyes of yours looks so… _hurt_? Then suddenly I pull my other hand out of your grasp, grab your shoulders and then crushes our lips together in a not too gentle way. You gasp in surprise and I take the opportunity to move my tongue in between your lips. Your moans sends delightful shivers down along my spine. You know, you're the only person that can make me ever feel like this now that I think about it.

I can't stop shaking, but I want to hear more… much more of it, because that's the only words, the only sounds I can rip out of your throat.

Your hands moves up to cup my face and then up to my blond strands before running your fingers through my hair, graspin it hard, only to pull me deeper into this kiss. For a moment I feel fear as memories floods back into my mind, but I force myself to push them away. I'm not that weak. I'm not that fragile. And God, I can't stop wanting more from you, from those lips of yours. I can't stop _needing _you more. Our kisses get more furiously, more needing, more wanting. The way your hand slides up to my throat makes my skin feels like burning. Somehow, we both slides back down onto the floor, sitting on our knees, touching each other, kissing each other and I feel something grow painfully in my heart. I lean away from our kiss and gasp for air, panting while leaning my head on your shoulder. I'm listening to your beating heart; it's pounding like a wild train speeding so fast that the engine is roaring, inside of your chest. I like to listen to it, love the sound of it, since I have witnessed it being so silent before… though I don't think I would ever admit that out loud to anyone, definitely not to you.

You move your hands to push me a little away from you, but I don't want that, and wraps my arms around you, holding around you for dear life. I don't want to let go, I don't want this moment to disappear. I know that you need this affirmation, these hidden feelings to be shown, to know that they're accepted just as much as I do. I want this to last for ever, this moment… but… I just need a little break and suddenly I realise, while bumping my head constantly into your shoulder, that I'm crying again, and this time, I can't stop.

This definitely can't be a nightmare anymore. I can't stop crying at all, for heaven's sake my eyes are itching already but still I can't stop. This is a joy that I've been feeling for the first time since you're said to be alive, but this time its overwhelming me much, much more.

"You fuck-head," I murmur into your shoulder, as I sense your hands nearing my back and my head "you damn, _fucking_, idiot!" I curse at you, bangs my head against your shoulder, again and again and again. It's like a curse, a spell, hoping on it will make everything go back to as it was before. But it can't. I can feel it. My feelings towards you have changed. My whole being, my world, everything that I know of have been changed. Your arms finds their way around me and keeps me still, as you pull me even closer against your body. You flinch by the pressure on your wounds, but leaves it by that. You don't care… you never do.

I still don't get it.

Why do I… when you did those things towards me…? What did you do to me? _Why _did you make me have these feelings? _Why_?_ What_? _When_? "You damn hell raped me… so how can it be that I suddenly love you?" I whisper to myself, mostly, but I don't realise that I have said it out loud, before you suddenly freeze. '_Oh shit!_'I don't dare to look up. I don't dare to move. And neither do you. I start to panic, trying to find something to say, my eyes search on the wall behind you for a word to say, as could it morph the right words for me to say. "Wait, look Zoro, I didn't mean-" I quickly tries to save my embarrassment but too late, it slipped out and you cut me off.

"You're only in your right mind to hate me," you whisper slowly. I bite my lips, cursing over myself and my stupidity, and push you away from me, enough so that I can look properly at you. I can't stop staring at that big bandage covering your torso. The bandage that hides the vital wound that almost killed you. Before I realise it, my fingers are travelling, ghosting over it. I can't help it. As I look up, your eyes are looking at my fingers, expecting something. I look down again and press them hard into your wound. There's a sharp intake of air close to my ear and you gulps as I press even harder. I don't know why I'm doing this, but I just can't stop myself from doing it. There's bloodstain on those white bandages of yours now. you're shivering as I grab your torso, digging my fingers deep into your wound, but you doesn't move, you do nothing but stares at my fingers violating your wound, pressing it open again. You're in my grasp, literally, and I feel like I can do what I want, without you'll do anything back. As I look up from your coloured bandages, your one dark eye are watching me expectantly, awaiting me to do more. Your face is paler than before, you practically look like shit, like you're about to throw up at any given moment.

"Shit-head," I mumble as I pulls my hand away and threads my fingers through your hair, grasping it tight as I pulls your face closer. Sliding my other hand down your stubble chin, I claim your lips once again. "…fucking shit-head," I keep mumbling as I kiss you, pecking your lips, biting them lightly "So damn fucking retarded and stupid," for then to push my tongue deep into your mouth, my hand joining my other hand up in your hair, my fingers running in that soft short hair, ripping, sliding, grabbing it. I don't know when we ended up down on the floor, laying beside each other, your mouth has taken over me, your hands are now on me, soothing me, calming me. Fuck! It should have been the opposite, but you tells me it's not. You tell me that you're sorry, and that you'll understand if I never would forgive you. Damn hell I won't! You almost _killed _yourself, fuck-head!

"I meant, for what I did to you." You says. I kick you for saying that and reminds you on what we're doing in this given moment.

And then… suddenly, I've fallen in the land of pure desire as your hands finally moves along my body, as your mouth kisses me back, as your tongue touches mine… a desire to always have you with me, by my side all the time. I can't say it, not because your tongue is too deep down my throat now, if that's even possible, but because I don't know how to name those words, name those feelings. Somehow you form my thoughts into act, into actually words and are telling me about the same. I shut your mouth again with a kiss, a deep, longing, lustful kiss. And guess what? You did, indeed, finally shut your fucking mouth and put it into some good use.

I want you. Oh God I suddenly want you more than this. Slowly leaving your lips as I'm hovering over you, arms planted firmly on each side of you, I dare to go lower, search lower for your Adams apple. The moan I get in reply sends shivers through my whole being, making my want stronger, and my lust spreading in my body like a virus, a good virus. What if… what if I went a bit more? A bit further? My blood is boiling, rushing through my veins like a strong river stream. I'm deaf to anything outside of this little bobble that we have created, outside of our little private intimate world. But my hearings inside of it, is tenfold stronger. I can hear my tongue sliding up along your throat, the wet lick rubbing your dry skin, I can hear our lips as they careers each other in a sloppy damp kiss, as I tastes your throat, leaving a trail of saliva from there, and then slowly works down to one of your nipples, breathing heavy onto it. You're panting hard, wanting this to go further, just as much I guess I want… too. Even your fingers stroking through my hair I can hear. I can hear everything and nothing. Catching a nipple between my teeth, I even fears that you even can hear my heart hammering like the engine of a train running wild. It's surprisingly that you even let me do all of this. You're shivering in delight, I can tell, and then lets out a sound between a moan and a groan as I close my mouth around your nipple and sucks on it. As I kiss it, licks it, bites it and then sucks it again. It feels weird, doing all of this to a man, feels wrong but then again oh so right –it's tempting to try out these dangerous unfamiliar waters.

Your hands are on my back, runs up into my hair. You pulls in my shirt and takes it with you up. It's like fire when your warm strong hands -hands there easily could break my neck with one swift movement, hands there wields those proud swords of yours so steadily in fights, like they're made out of air and that it's the wind alone that you make to cut through your enemies- touches me so gently, so needing and I suddenly want to feel your nails running along my back instead, scraping my skin, breaking it, tearing it, scratching, leaving marks on it, reminders, memories. I whimper as you do just that, scratching you nails along my back, then down, for then to scratch them deeper into my skin.

Oh Jesus…shit… this fire.

I want more, no, I _need _something more.

I moves up to catch your lips again and you kiss me back more feverish, ripping a moan out of my throat, a long deep moan, that I have been trying to suppress for so long, but I can't hold my sounds back anymore, not the way that you're kissing me now, not the way your hands are sliding all the way up to my shoulders, defiantly leaving long red trails from your sharp nails, for then to run back down, further, further, before they disappear into my pants, then I feel those nails scratching my ass as they goes up again along my sides. I can't describe what sound you're ripping out of me, tearing out of me, I'm melting like butter in your hands, gasps for more, more touches, more assaults from your hands, from your nails. You brush your hands down to my back then, scratches your way slowly up along my sides again, slides your palms carefully over my chest, and down, down, all the way down to the rim of my-

I swallow and pants as you grab my groin there are trapped in my pants, and tighten your fist around it. Your teeth's tastes my neck, bites hard and leaves a mark. I want to get out of my clothes, I want to get out of my pants. I want _you _to get out of your pants.

"Take 'em off," it's barely a whisper, barely my own voice, I can't even recognise it. You just hums and smiles at me while you're practically eating your way down my throat and –that damn shirt is now more than in the way again. Off, _off_! You fucking teaser! My own clothes are feeling more suffocating to be in than before, as you mould my dick in your hands. Having enough of this shit I shift on my arms, comes closer to you, almost crushing you underneath my weight, though I'm so light that you probably won't feel me at all, moving my weight to one arm I search my other hand down in between us and crushers _your _dick in _my _hands through your pants. And oh _God _how much I love _that _sound from your throat as well.

"Take. 'em. Off!" I say more sharply. You just keeps smiling that damn stupid smile of yours, though I would never admit out loud that I've missed it far too much in all this time since… well… _then…_

"What? In a hurry, Pervert-cook?" you whisper into my ear, your words or hot breath -or is it that hand pulling out of my pants to teasingly brush the bulge in my pants?- makes me shiver.

"Damn straight I am," I say and bumps my hips against yours, ripping a gasp from both mine and your lips. "You're too slow," I sits up, already in the going to open your damn pants.

"Why?" I got a feeling about that you're not asking about your speed, but about… _that_.

"You're talking too much, Marimo." You stop my hand from touching you down there and looks sternly at me.

"No, tell me why," you presses on, tightening you grip around my wrist, stopping me for sure as I try to get to your pants again. Fuck it. Just let me go already. "Why are you doing this, after all what I've done to you?"

"Don't ruin the moment, idiot-head," I retorts, licking my lips there suddenly feels too dry. "I want you. As in; I want to fuck you, I want you to fuck me. as in I want that fucking dick of yours out and your stupid mouth to shut up." I move to your zipper again, but you still keeps my hands in place. "Fuck, don't start something and then stop me from having what I want, shit-head!"

"We're men," you say, as that will explain everything. I can't stop rolling my eyes at you.

"I'm perfectly aware of that."

"We're _men,_" you press on and that's when I look properly into your eye: There is fear in it, an old fear. "What would they other say if they knew?" It's more like your eye are asking; "How would they _kill us _if they found out?"

"Shit-head, I guess they already have an idea about your stupid feelings." I points out as I move up and rubs my ass over your bulge in those now very tight pants "It's me they're unsure about since… they think I'm not in for that." You're having problems now to keep that straight face of yours; you even gulp as I rub harder. It's hard even for me to sit still. The need to feel you properly are too heavy.

"Think?" you muster to get out, I smirks down at you.

"Fuck-head, you just made a mess out of my feelings after _that_, you know? I thought that I knew what I liked," I gulp and straightens my back a bit more, I'm even having trouble with breathing properly. Shitty asshole, let go of my hand already! "Fuck, you're such an asshole to always make things confused to me. To make me –hng- like _this._"

"Sorry," you more pants out than says. Your grip are finally loosing as my _mind _are slowly loosing. My head are spinning, to think that lust could be such a hard narcotic. To think that _you _could be such a needful drug to me.

"Shut it!" I say, slides down and finally grabs your groin, cutting you straight off from whatever you wanted to say next "Open 'em!"

You're about to say something else, to keep on that stupid conversation of yours -tell me about it some other fucking time, will ya? Fuck, just _do _something already! You stop yourself from saying it, softens up, let yourself accept this, accept that I actually have accepted this embarrassing thing and instead says "Commanding little bitch." Despite your fucking insult, you do as I told you -finally! Opening my flyer, pulling them a bit down, like I've done to yours –you're freaking slowly, damn it!- while working it open, I pulls my shirt off. I lean down, your hands are sliding my pants down my ass, and then stays there, perfectly liking the place. Always knew that you were closet-pervert. Our hips are moving against each other, our free limbs rubbing against each other, and I catches your earlobe in between my teethes, while groping at your ass, that you so kindly have lifted up for me to have access to. I bite your ear, as your hands moves up along my butt, scraping your nails along the skin.

I can't stop moving. I want to feel more, feel _us_, but I just can't seem to stop. You move your hands up to grab my face and plant your lips feverishly on mine. You bite me and I gasp as I let your tongue in to explore my mouth, it almost feels like you're sucking out my soul.

God, this feels so good, with you, scratch the thing that I'm getting hot by being with the same gender as myself. Scratch the thing that this is totally wrong. Scratch the past! Fuck the world! I just want you, want you so much. I want you inside of me. I want to be inside of you. I want to just dry-fuck you. I just want to masturbate the both of us at the same time, want to feel our dicks being squeezed together, come together. I want to get dirty, I want it hard. God, I'm loosing it now, big time!

My hand is itching to touch, as we keep riding each other to our climaxes, then, suddenly, I move my hips away, have to, no matter how hard it is and you're even complaining about the loose of my heat. But I have to move a little, just enough to get my hand in between us. You gasps surprised, then groans pleased as I grab both of us in one grasp. I have to swallow hard before I even dare to move.

It feels… wonderful, just like this, feeling your heated length against mine. Our skin touching, something. Whatever. I tightens my grasp as I move my hand up, and I have to _really_ pull it together if I don't want to come just right then.

"God, Sanji…" you gasp into my ear and moans so wonderfully hot as I tries to use the nails too… fuck…!

"…kiss…" You mouth are on mine before I ever makes to say the rest. I'm almost loose it the way you say my name, the way you kiss me, the way your whole being can set me on fire. God. I've never felt it like this before, not even with a lady. What have you done to me? What _are _you doing to me? Scratch that. What am _I _doing to you, I finally wanna know, and then not. I don't wanna know anything, just feel this bliss, like in forever. I let my hand move faster, rougher. I can't stop sighing in delight by the feeling of your throbbing manhood under my fingers, against mine. You holds me tighter in your arms, fuflike you're afraid to fall apart.

More furiously. My hand are about to cramp at any moment, but I keep on this speed. I want to feel the wonderful bliss of orgasm that none of us felt at our first time. No, this is truly our first time. Let's forget that _other time._ What other time? Man, I'm already about to forget it all… myself… no, I don't want to let this end, I this to keep on forever –then how would it feel like if you were inside of me, _really _inside of me, or me in you? '_No, don't come yet, idiot!_' It's impossible not to move my hips into my own hand there's jerking us both off, thrusting down, while you're thrusting up, doing the same. The sound that you're letting out as I bite down on your collarbone is enthralling.

"Don't, keep your mouth shut," you say to me, running your nails along my already abused back. God, stop it, or I'll loose it already. "Let me hear you," your whisper, your begging panting words, you groaning "please," every now and then, your fingers in my hair, on my cheek, drying away a tear I didn't even knew was there "Sanji…" And I'm almost loosing it, really, _really _close to loose it already "let me hear," your rumbling fucking sexy voice -how the hell could it get so deep and fucking sexy?- should be banded, forbidden. It's too fucking arousing to listen to.

Your arms are around me, your hands on both of the cheeks of my ass, helping me to jerk into my own hold, into my own hand. You push me, pulls me even harder, and for a moment I fear that my hips will break. Your name is on my lips, your pre-cum running down my fingers, mixing up with mine. I can't keep my voice in any longer. I didn't even know that I had such a voice, but I don't give a damn about it if they others should hear, though I highly doubt it that they can hear anything above these loud winds and the cascade of rain drumming on the deck and all around the ship.

"So… damn, close," I bite down in your shoulder again, can't take it, the world are spinning around me as I move my hand much faster, if that's even possible. Damn, why do you have to have such a high stamina? It drives me crazy to keep holding it back till you'll lose it! I can't even feel it anymore, my hand, my fingers, they're numb, trembling. I bite harder down, finally tasting blood. Then, when your hand moves down to help me, when it touches _me_, I lose it. Everything is a wonderful bliss, as I spill out between us, feeling my soul crumbling and lets out a sound I don't even know what to name –a strangled moan? A breathless gasp? Something in between and then again not? Maybe it's even a part of your name, but I don't know, can't even remember it, don't even gives a shit as you're still moving your hand to reach your own climax, furiously, it makes me whimper pathetically as my dick are too sensitive after my own release. Your other hand are still on my butt, still pushing me into our takes some times more, I don't even know what's up or down anymore, before you finally comes and spills out between our stomachs, with my name on your lips, making me go all goo-goo. My mind swims around, I won't even dare to test it out if I can move, let alone to _stand_. But then again; why would I do that? My arm gives up and I more like falls than lays down beside you, panting, trying to get my breath back.

'_Shit!_' are the only word I can think of at the moment. My fucking _hips _are cramping! And my dick? God, do I even _have_ one anymore? It's all numb down there in front, and yet it's still tingling so wonderfully that I don't want the feeling to disappear. It is okay for me to being numb like this in the next… three four years, right?

I don't know for how long we keep lying here, a minute, an hour, a day or even a week, but I don't care. I don't care about anything at all, as you lay there beside me, your arms slowly reaching around me, your body pulled against mine, your lips placing lazy kisses on my lips… I've never felt this good before…not… not even with a woman… not even close.

We're still naked down below, and you slowly pulls my pants up, puts me inside and zips them close, and your own too, while your lips still are laying lazy kisses onto mine. And I let you do it, because you want to, because it puts you in such an ease for knowing that I let you. Even just such a little act can make you happy, I can hear it the way you breathe in slowly, how your chest rises up along with the intake of air, and then lets it all out in one large satisfied sigh.

…So tired…

~.-.-.-.-.-.-.~

Some time later I wake up, finding myself in your arms. It's still dark outside. I don't know for how long that we have been laying here, in each others arms. I watch you while you're sleeping, and I can't help myself thinking how peacefully and, god forbids me saying this out loud, how beautiful you actually look like. I've never realised that before now, might be because my eyes always have been on the ladies, their soft forms, listened to their sweet voices… who ever thought that the total opposite was, what really stole my heart? And of all of them, _you_?

One dark brown eye, almost black, cracks open to look tiredly back at me. I could have got lost in those depths there are in just that eye –how I wish that the other could have opened up again, but it will forever be shut, forever be scarred. You slowly move your hand to touch my face, and I can't help myself from leaning into that touch. So warm, so rough and yet so gentle and soft. You lean in over me, and soon I feel your warm lips on mine again, drinking my soul to your hearts content, and pouring yours back into me through that kiss. I would wish that the time never would disappear, that it would stay like this forever… your lips placing lazy kisses on my lips… your hands being so gentle when touching me, when holding me… your soft skin under my own hands… I've never felt this good before.

"God damn it, Marimo…!" I slurs, half asleep, half awake, and moves a hand up to touch your face, to brush the sweat away from your brow with my thumb. "I think I've fallen in love in you." You sigh, like you've been holding your breath for a long time, and then pull me in to your broad chest. It feels so funny when your chuckles are rumbling inside of your chest. I like it.

"Stupid cook,"

"No," I kick your leg lightly "Stupid, brainless swordsman! What the fucking hell were you thinking almost killing yourself?" I place a finger on your lips as you try to answer me. "Don't ever do such a thing again. Next time, just say it or _I'll_ kill you!"

_Bite!_

"Auch! The fuck, grass-head?!" You just snicker as I move my abused finger to my own mouth. "Why the hell did you bite me, you dog?!"

"Because I love you, Sanji…!"

I blink stupidly at you as you takes my hand from my mouth and back to yours, this time just resting your lips at the small bite mark. "What?"

"I… was afraid to tell you, all this time."

"…therefore… you bit me…?"

"No, that's why I, I did _that _to you!" you barks angrily, holding my hand in your trembling hand, while you look seriously at me. "I-I know it's not right, a man loving another man..."

"So what?" I look into your eyes and smile. Your dumbfounded makes me laugh whole heartedly. "Doesn't matter what other people thinks –Luffy and the others have already accepted your… _feelings_, and-"

"I meant _you_!" I raise a brow as you point into my chest.

"Me?"

"I know that you love woman and –mplfh?!" I silence you with a kiss, while running my fingers through your short, grass-green hair, longer from the first time we met.

"Just shut the fuck up or I'll have to kick you again, marimo!" I breathe out, as I break away from the kiss. It would be nice to just keep lying here with you, but I know you still need some food and I stand up to prepare it. "Up and sit. There!" I point a lazy finger to the table, and then that annoying smirk returns to your lips and I never thought that it would make me so happy to see it again.

"What am I? A dog?"

"Yup! You're my personal marimo-dog. Now sit!"

Grumbling something incoherent you do as you're told anyway.

You keep watching me, observing my movements while I'm working on our night-snack, I can sense it, but I don't let you know. It's still weird to think about it, about us, our feelings and such. But somehow I just accept it as it is.

A plate of food, my own, no good if I served you the… _something_ that should be some kind of food, that Luffy tried to create this evening. As I'm about to turn around to sit down as well, I feel your hand brush my back, and slowly slides down to squeeze my butt. Fucking hell you make me squeal like a girl and jump in the air. "Oi! _NO_ touching when I'm manhandling food, you pervert!" you give me that playful smile of yours, brush lightly over my hips and I groan in warning.

"Yes..._ mommy_," the next thing you knew, you where swimming in the ocean with a lump on your head, with several beatings waiting for you when you get back onboard.

I should have remembered how shitty annoying you really are… fuck-head!

And remember this: Just because I love you, doesn't mean that I'll stop kicking your ass… you damn loveable marimo!

"Ah shit! The food will turn cold now!"

Scratch that. I hate you!

_**~The End~**_

**AN: **_Once again I have to thanks KittyBlue for yet again helping me out. Thanks to her, this chapter goes out so it's readable XD m'no good with any grammars *nervous laugh*_

_Thanks Tania-chwan, for your big help!_


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